How it Happened

It all started with a visit from a close male friend. We had discussed beforehand what we wanted to try, sexually, and on my list was pain and bondage. he bought some cotton rope, wooden clothespins, and started driving. Of course, he was driving from another state. i had all day to consider what my weekend was going to be like.

We didn’t get around to the bondage and pain play until the second day, after i had fastened the ropes securely to my bedposts (the only bondage i really knew of was spread eagle…). He tied me in using the knots he had been practicing all week. Already i was incredibly turned on, just being naked and vulnerable in front of him. he could have me any way he wanted, and that got me so hot. then he pulls out the wooden clothespins. i wasn’t sure what to expect as far as they went. Any of my previous lovers had to be talked into being rough (and even them being rough was too gentle for me) so i knew very little about pain play. He put pins on and around my nipples, slowly flicking or turning them to cause even more pain. the waves of pleasure and pain intermingled into one amazing feeling of almost floating. i felt so amazing, just laying there, him playing with my body, teasing me and hurting me as he pleased. of course, i begged for his cock. And when he finally started fucking me i was over the edge almost instantly. Since then i’ve known i am most certainly a submissive. It just felt ‘right’ to give up control to someone else. Especially to someone i trust.

Throughout my entire life, my mother had always told me women were superior in every way to men. We were made to guide them and keep them on track. Our job was to make sure that everything they did, they did right. Something i learned early on in my life: it is incredibly hard to be a Dom when you’re a sub. Until last week, i was a Dom. Every boyfriend i had, i ordered around. not the Dom in the sense of D/s, but i was the one who ruled every relationship that i was in. That’s why every relationship tired me out so much. I had to try so hard to be what I thought was what I had to be. Tied up on my bed, being the plaything of my friend, i realized that i don’t have to be a Dom. Being a sub is fine, and in fact, it just feels…. ‘right.’

In just a week, i’ve read a lot on D/s, and changed my life a lot. This experience really changed my life for the positive. i’m eating better, excersizing more, and generally changing my demeanor (almost overnight… i definitely wasn’t cut out for the life i was living) to someone a Dom would want as a sub. i consider this to be in service of the Dom i will be with one day. It’s rather nice to know what you want out of life.

Knowing what i want also means i have to start educating myself about it. That’s what this blog is about. i couldn’t find any subs who had blogs or had written their experiences anywhere but experience project, and a blog like this might help new people to the scene learn a little about what it’s about, and see it from a sub’s point of view. i hope this will perhaps be a useful tool for anyone hoping to learn like i am, and i’ll be using it as a tool as well, so please bear with me! 🙂

i do have a couple of questions for anyone who has been in the scene for a while, though….

1) i hear ‘scene’ a lot, that’s why i use that word, but is ‘scene’ the right word to describe the community? is there a better one i should use?

2) Is sub training really worth the time? Or should i wait until i have the right Master and allow Him to train me as He’d like?

Thank you for being patient with me!!



3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. curioussub
    Apr 07, 2010 @ 18:27:23

    A very patient and kind Sir answered my questions for me, saying that while ‘scene’ is sometimes used, ‘the lifestyle’ is a better term, and as for #2, i’ve heard both. One Sir told me that in fact a bit of training on your own is a good thing, or even with another Master sometimes, while another Sir thought that it was good to allow the Master i am looking for to train me.


  2. Druidnc
    Jun 23, 2010 @ 17:06:06

    Your first question was answered so I’ll move on to the next.

    You will get both answers to this question, with varying degrees of affirmation based on whom you ask. I believe a well educated submissive is no different than anyone else. A curious mind (nice nickname by the way) is a wondrous toy to have available. Your dominant will be all the better for what you bring to the table. So use that curiosity along with your desire to please your dom and learn all you can.

    Having said that, once you have given yourself, that dominant will train you “in his liking”. By that I mean no matter what you have learned about D/s or BDSM, he will bring his own ideas to the relationship. As you discuss likes/dislikes/hard limits your relationship will grow into something mutually pleasurable. You will learn what pleases him most and in your desire to serve him your own submission will follow his lead, regardless of anything you might have learned along the way.

    Best of luck in your journey dear lady. You have much to be excited about.


    • curioussub
      Jun 23, 2010 @ 20:43:49

      Thank You for Your answer and for complimenting my nickname, Druid !

      i have found that what i have learned thus far on my own has helped me, but decided to wait for training, rather than be trained twice (and likely get things confused!). However, everything i learned has helped me communicate how i am feeling about certain things, and it really helps to know for certain that i’m not the only one out there who gets squicked by needles or by really tight breast bondage…. That information comes in handy if someone ever *tries* to talk me into doing anything i’m not comfortable with. Although, nobody has tried to talk me into doing anything i’ve been uncomfortable with yet : ) thank goodness !

      Thank You again for the kind response, You are absolutely right and i really appreciate Your input ! : )



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