Living the Dream


So, yesterday, i was hanging around on fetlife. Due to the big gap in me and Sambuddy’s age, i joined a group called ‘Age Gap 20+’ which i thought would be a good group to be a part of, since there are obviously going to be different challenges associated with a relationship with such a large age gap. Very rarely are there new posts there, though. Yesterday a new post was made, and it got me seriously miffed. Usually i make a point of not getting annoyed over posts people make, and usually that works for me, but i guess i was in a bad mood yesterday and i gave in. i was thinking about what it is that initially made me annoyed with the man who posted it, and i think i came up with a few reasons.

First, it seems like most men have fantasies about ‘getting with’ an 18-year-old. Not all, but i think a good deal of them do. That’s fine. i’m not picking on those people. But what annoys me about some people is that they actively pursue young women based solely on their age. This man stated, and i quote, “Like it or not, that is what turns me on. Women much older do not excite or arouse me, at least not immediately.” i’m sorry…. What??? From my point of view, if someone contacts me, regardless of age, they are given the exact same amount of consideration as anyone else. This is important to me, because everyone is different and you never know when you’re going to meet the right person. This man stated that he doesn’t get excited or aroused by older women immediately, but does by younger women, and thus, he wants to date younger women. He came at the group with a question though.

His therapist said he was going after something he can’t have, and he should go for women his own age. Everyone can understand why the therapist said this, right? i know i can. i’m not saying i agree, but that i can see where he’s coming from. Now, the man asking the question asks “Should I keep him? Or dump him?” i’m sorry…. What??? You want to dump your therapist because he doesn’t think you should be chasing barely-legal tail??? C’mon now, let’s use our brains.

Of course, i was cordial there, and basically said “consider why you want a large age gap relationship, what you can offer them and what they can offer you, and think hard about what your therapist said. If you still think they’re wrong after lots of thinking, dump him.” and that’s not a direct quote, just a summary. After all, that’s how i feel about it.

Then he becomes a jerk. i’m not going to do a blow-by-blow of the conversation. Although i know it’s wrong to think in terms of win/lose, if i happened to be thinking in terms of win/lose, i pretty much won. : P However, i found that a lot of what he was talking about seemed to be justification of why he wants young women. Not even good reasons, either. Things like “optimism about love, marriage, relationships, etc.” Now, let me get something straight, i am not nearly as optimistic as i seem. And there are people out there, my age, who are less optimistic than me. He was using examples such as that to justify why it’s ok for him to only like young women. After reading that for a while, i realized that it’s very likely that he’s just trying to convince himself that it’s ok, and that it’s likely that he started the thread in order for us to all rally behind him saying “drop the therapist and join our club!!!” And it made me feel good to see that people weren’t falling for it in this group.

my big question is: how do you guys feel about someone like that, who will only date young women? Would this piss you off, too, or am i being overly sensitive?

i got pretty bitchy on the thread, so if anyone checks that out, please realize that 99.99999% of the time, i’m not that bitchy, he just really made me mad. Oh, and sorry for the non-BDSM talk again, but i felt like this might make for good conversation. Don’t be afraid to tell me i’m an idiot, i would like to hear other people’s point of view on the subject. Here’s the link to the thread, so you can form your own opinion, since mine is pretty slanted! : P

http://fetlife.com/groups/4097/group_posts/703260

You probably need a fetlife account to see it, though. : )

-s.

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