Livin’ the Gorean Life


When i first heard about BDSM and joined experienceproject.com, a Dom came forward to be my mentor. i still talk to Him and His advice has been invaluable in my journey. One of the things He told me to do was to look up what ‘Gorean lifestyle’ is. He didn’t think it was what i wanted to be a part of, but i am very happy He told me to look it up, because i didn’t even know it existed, and while i’m not judging people who do anything the Gorean way, i did learn that it’s not my thing.

What is the Gorean lifestyle?

The Gorean lifestyle came from Gor science fiction novels written by John Norman. The Gor books had another type of planet (from what i understand, though the wiki says ‘fictional counter-earth’) and basically the lifestyle of the aliens on this planet was referred to as ‘Gorean.’ On this planet, it is perfectly fine to have a slave, and in fact, it’s perfectly fine to have a sexual relationship with your slave. This is compared to a M/s relationship. People who participate in the Gorean lifestyle are participating in the lifestyle of the race that lives on Gor. i’m going to focus on the BDSM part of the Gorean lifestyle, but i’d like to put out there that the wiki has some info on the non-sexual parts of it, owning a slave is not mandatory to be a part of this lifestyle. If you’re interested, you should click the link at the bottom of this post : )

The idea behind Gorean slaves and Gorean Masters is an extreme version of 24/7. These slaves live in high protocol that rarely, if ever, lets up. The lifestyle is largely dictated by the Gor books, meaning that punishments, positions, and rules are taken from the books, therefore, most Goreans are practicing identical or very similar versions of M/s. i can see how it would be nice to be on the same page with that large of a group of people. The only thing that i think wouldn’t be very much fun is that high protocol. i want to be able to joke around with my Dom in a largely free form relationship. Of course, i’m not rejecting all protocol. i would likely still follow direct orders and serve my Dom. i don’t think i would enjoy every little thing being as strict as i’m getting from reading these websites!!

What are some Gorean M/s customs?

There are basic rules that i found on several sites for slaves. Here they are:

1)  All Freepersons are to be addressed as either Master or Mistress.
2 ) Serve EVERY Master or Mistress as if your life, or your smooth flesh depends on it for it does. A lash is quick in the hand of a Free, so is a boot into the sleen pits…
3 ) While a Freeperson may not always be right, they are, by definition, never WRONG. Slaves always have the last word in any disagreement…the words “Yes Master”…
4 ) Jealousy and possessiveness have killed more slaves then disobedience, so has having an attitude…you’re a slave, a bondmaid, REMEMBER your place.
5 ) Slaves do not use the first person pronoun. There is not “I,” “me” or “mine” in a slaves vocabulary.
6 ) Learning to be pleasing and skilled slave/bondmaid is key. Learn to show excitement and to enjoy the freedoms that come with being enslaved. You are not robots or puppets. You are a collared slave, so enjoy and show as such.
7 ) Your collar carries the honor of your Owner. Your attitude can make it as light as a feather or as heavy as a mountain.
8 ) If there are none requiring service, use the time to clean, cook, bake and do the chores associated with day to day workings. Don’t be lazy.
9 ) Slaves possess nothing not given to them by their owner, including their name. What is given, can be taken away. If you are entrusted to carry a name for an owner, or silks, or jewelry, remember that these can be removed as easily as they were given.
10 ) The merest whim of your owner is your highest law. And lawbreakers are punished.

As i said, it was on several websites, so this is the general idea of the rules involved with being a Gorean slave. On top of this, there are slave positions (http://www.thedsgarden.com/Gor/Gor1.htm) that every slave is supposed to learn.

Punishments are also dictated by the books, and even names come from the books!

So, while this lifestyle isn’t for me, it’s very very strict, which i can totally understand someone wanting. If you’re interested, google it! : ) here are the sources i got my information from!

http://hubpages.com/hub/Basic-Gorean-Slave-RulesPunishments

Rules for Gorean slaves, and some punishments are on here as well.

http://www.thedsgarden.com/Gor/Gor1.htm

Gorean slave positions and descriptions of them

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gorean

The wiki on the lifestyle in general, with a small shoutout to BDSM.

Moving on!!

Remember when i said i’d love to review sex toys?? An email i sent edenfatasys.com (yes, i did spell it right, but they did not!) was answered by a woman who works for a brand new program they’re working on. This program is geared toward bloggers, and it seems perfect for me!! This is super exciting for me and i’m really happy about it. i chose a toy to review on this blog, and i’ll have it either tomorrow or the day after. Yay!!! This means that i can add toy reviews to the blog, too!! Of course, i’m going to keep trying to keep this blog about BDSM, but i would like to expand it to sexuality, life, and relationships as well, because i think it would be a lot more interesting for you (the reader!) than sitting here reading what i have to say on the same topic every day. Plus, i’m going to run out of topics at some point, too!

Also, i’d like to put some links to interesting articles that went through my AOL news daily at the end of my blog. i think that it would be fun to share my links with my friends that aren’t on my messenger! : ) If you don’t like the links, feel free to complain here and this will be the last post that they’re on : ) sound good??

In the News

Apparently, the heir to the McDonald’s empire got robbed. The only question is, if he’s the heir, why is it that nobody who knows the McDonalds know him? Hmm…. (http://www.aolnews.com/world/article/mcdonalds-heir-robbery-geoffrey-mcdonalds-identity-questioned/19535953)

You’ve probably heard about the  11 Russian spies who were arrested (some not too far from where i live!!) but do you really know anything about them? i found this interesting because they were such normal people. (http://www.aolnews.com/nation/article/suspected-russian-spies-lived-strikingly-ordinary-lives-acquaintances-say/19535382)

Also, Donald Duck got caught driving drunk. (http://www.aolnews.com/weird-news/article/police-arrest-donald-duck-on-charges-of-driving-drunk-in-massillon-ohio/19535273)

Kobayashi might not be going to the hot dog eating contest!! i would be quite disappointed if this actually happens. i’m just sayin’. (http://www.aolnews.com/weird-news/article/takeru-kobayashi-may-skip-coney-island-hot-dog-eating-championship/19534227)

Lastly, it looks like genetically engineered fish isn’t too far from being approved by the FDA, but is it actually as terrible as it seems? (http://www.aolnews.com/nation/article/mass-company-seeks-fda-approval-of-genetically-engineered-fish/19534058)

That’s all i have to say today, thanks for dealing with the super long post!

-s.

BDSM vs. Vanilla


i posted a topic about this on fetlife, but i felt like while i was thinking about it, it might be a good idea to write down my thoughts on it. Obviously, there’s a stigma around the word ‘vanilla.’ People on fet seem to take that word and use it almost as an insult. my theory is that BDSM isn’t very far from vanilla.

When i first heard about the lifestyle, i was thinking that the relationships would be amazing and perfect and so different from vanilla. While some of the relationships are amazing and perfect, most aren’t. That’s the first similarity i saw to vanilla relationships: we’re still imperfect. Whether you’re a Dom or a sub, you’re imperfect! And thus, both sides are going to have to apologize from time to time. Taking the blame is something i didn’t see as a Dominant thing to do, when i first learned about BDSM. ‘Dominants are always right!’ i would tell myself. It wasn’t too long ago, but i did learn that as in every relationship, there are going to be mistakes, and the fact that a Dominant can humble themselves and say “you’re right and I’m sorry” makes them a good person, which in turn would make them a better Dominant, at least in my eyes!

As i wrote about before, both vanilla and BDSM relationships have to have communication as a foundation. If not, problems arise. Big problems. There’s no difference in the importance of talking to one another. This also ties into trust, which is a major component of both vanilla and BDSM relationships as well.

Tasks to be done, in both vanilla and BDSM relationships, are handled similar ways. For instance, i have a friend whose mom stays at home and does the stuff around the house, as well as taxing the kids to and from things. As far as i know, she’s vanilla. She’s pretty uptight about sexual things and she freaked out when she found birth control pills in her daughter’s room so i’m thinking she’s not kinky. Some subs stay at home and take care of the house, too. As is very common nowadays, some subs also go out and work alongside their vanilla co-workers. Some Doms chip in and help around the house, and so do some vanilla men. So, as far as jobs in the household and out, it would seem that both relationships are the same.

Rules in vanilla relationships seem to be more unspoken, whereas rules in BDSM relationships seem to be more talked about and recognized. This is a small difference i see. Not really big enough for me to be comfortable saying ‘aha!! This is the difference!!’

On both paths, you have women who submit to men, and men who submit to women. The boy i lost my virginity to basically did what i told him to do. It wasn’t me manipulating him, and it wasn’t an agreed upon ‘you take all the power,’ it just was what it was. my guess is that our case is not the only case of a vanilla relationship having a Dominant and a submissive person. my question here is ‘in a BDSM relationship is one more Dominant, or is it just more discussed?’

The biggest difference i thought of was the sex life. Those involved in BDSM have a very wide variety of kinks which, it is largely assumed, would squick a vanilla person. Vanilla is seen to be missionary style or doggy style, not much variety, very boring if it’s the only thing you do. i don’t know if i agree with that, or where the line is drawn from vanilla to BDSM as far as sex lives. It has to be drawn somewhere, right? There are just so many fetishes that there can’t be a line, really, because what’s on this list of fetishes, how is it ordered, and then dealing with the fact that while a very large percentage of women have rape fantasies, i would imagine that consensual non-consent is something that would be extremely kinky. Odd. i think, even in our sex lives, we aren’t too different.

So what do you think is the difference? Just curious about people’s opinions on the subject : )

-s.

Great Minds….


i was looking under the BDSM tag on wordpress and came across this post a few days ago. It didn’t occur to me to share until just now, so apologies on my lateness : ( i’ll post the link, i think this is an excellent post and she says everything in a way that makes it very easy to understand. i do like her blog as well, but this post in particular not only pertains to BDSM, but to the way we think of the lifestyle : )

http://thepaganandthepen.wordpress.com/2010/06/23/think-taboo-will-the-real-lifestyler-please-stand-up/

-s.

Living the Dream


So, yesterday, i was hanging around on fetlife. Due to the big gap in me and Sambuddy’s age, i joined a group called ‘Age Gap 20+’ which i thought would be a good group to be a part of, since there are obviously going to be different challenges associated with a relationship with such a large age gap. Very rarely are there new posts there, though. Yesterday a new post was made, and it got me seriously miffed. Usually i make a point of not getting annoyed over posts people make, and usually that works for me, but i guess i was in a bad mood yesterday and i gave in. i was thinking about what it is that initially made me annoyed with the man who posted it, and i think i came up with a few reasons.

First, it seems like most men have fantasies about ‘getting with’ an 18-year-old. Not all, but i think a good deal of them do. That’s fine. i’m not picking on those people. But what annoys me about some people is that they actively pursue young women based solely on their age. This man stated, and i quote, “Like it or not, that is what turns me on. Women much older do not excite or arouse me, at least not immediately.” i’m sorry…. What??? From my point of view, if someone contacts me, regardless of age, they are given the exact same amount of consideration as anyone else. This is important to me, because everyone is different and you never know when you’re going to meet the right person. This man stated that he doesn’t get excited or aroused by older women immediately, but does by younger women, and thus, he wants to date younger women. He came at the group with a question though.

His therapist said he was going after something he can’t have, and he should go for women his own age. Everyone can understand why the therapist said this, right? i know i can. i’m not saying i agree, but that i can see where he’s coming from. Now, the man asking the question asks “Should I keep him? Or dump him?” i’m sorry…. What??? You want to dump your therapist because he doesn’t think you should be chasing barely-legal tail??? C’mon now, let’s use our brains.

Of course, i was cordial there, and basically said “consider why you want a large age gap relationship, what you can offer them and what they can offer you, and think hard about what your therapist said. If you still think they’re wrong after lots of thinking, dump him.” and that’s not a direct quote, just a summary. After all, that’s how i feel about it.

Then he becomes a jerk. i’m not going to do a blow-by-blow of the conversation. Although i know it’s wrong to think in terms of win/lose, if i happened to be thinking in terms of win/lose, i pretty much won. : P However, i found that a lot of what he was talking about seemed to be justification of why he wants young women. Not even good reasons, either. Things like “optimism about love, marriage, relationships, etc.” Now, let me get something straight, i am not nearly as optimistic as i seem. And there are people out there, my age, who are less optimistic than me. He was using examples such as that to justify why it’s ok for him to only like young women. After reading that for a while, i realized that it’s very likely that he’s just trying to convince himself that it’s ok, and that it’s likely that he started the thread in order for us to all rally behind him saying “drop the therapist and join our club!!!” And it made me feel good to see that people weren’t falling for it in this group.

my big question is: how do you guys feel about someone like that, who will only date young women? Would this piss you off, too, or am i being overly sensitive?

i got pretty bitchy on the thread, so if anyone checks that out, please realize that 99.99999% of the time, i’m not that bitchy, he just really made me mad. Oh, and sorry for the non-BDSM talk again, but i felt like this might make for good conversation. Don’t be afraid to tell me i’m an idiot, i would like to hear other people’s point of view on the subject. Here’s the link to the thread, so you can form your own opinion, since mine is pretty slanted! : P

http://fetlife.com/groups/4097/group_posts/703260

You probably need a fetlife account to see it, though. : )

-s.

Ask interview questions and win free lingerie?


i was looking on edenfantasys.com and i saw something toward the bottom of the homepage. Basically, make up questions for a profession lingerie designer’s interview. There will be free prizes based on if your question gets to the top, and you can ask as many as you want. This is a pretty good opportunity, as it seems that each prize comes with free lingerie, i’m pretty sure i’d need special sizing though…. i always do…. : ‘ (

Here’s the link, check it out!

http://www.edenfantasys.com/

On top of that realization today, i was sitting around, trying to figure out how to review sex toys (can you say ‘dream job’?) when this really violent storm rolled in. i wasn’t even really thinking about it until the power went out. For four hours. i spent some of that time cuddling up to my big stuffed puppy, and the rest of it eating McDonald’s with milkshakes by candlelight, which i thought ‘this might be a fun date. McDonald’s by candlelight. i’d have fun.’

Also, today, i came to the realization that i prefer using my hands over using vibrators. Before about a month ago, i was using exclusively vibrators to get off, and that was that. When i was playing with Sambuddy, He would ask me to just rub my clit some, then He would allow me to use my vibrator. One day i realized i can actually cum this way and that i wouldn’t cum any less this way than with a vibrator. On top of that, i realized it was the quietest, assuming i can be quiet. So i have begun using my hands more than my vibe. Until today, i still thought i would prefer to use my vibe, but when given the choice today, i did not. Huh.

Anyhow, that was my day in a nutshell. i don’t have anything BDSM-y to talk about today, since i did a lot of nothing. Bah. Good night !

-s.

The Tumblr Obsession Returns


About 5 months ago, around the time a good friend of mine died, i stopped using tumblr. Today, i checked up on my old account and re-discovered all the beautiful photos i was sharing on there. That’s not my formspring anymore, by the way, it’s someone else’s. i changed the url for mine.

http://morgannamodegone.tumblr.com

Here’s a sample of photos that i have on there:

There’s a preview of the types of things i post. Mostly it seems to be women and fuzzy animals, but there are other things, too. Feel free to follow it, i’m in the process of deleting everything but photos from there, so that Y/you don’t have to sift through my posts to get to the pretty pictures. They were not very interesting, anyhow : P i will be posting some pictures in my queue on tumblr pretty regularly from now on, and we’ll see how it goes.

-s.

Communication


Because i think it’s amazingly important to talk about communication ! Yes, we are talking about communication. This is not my strongest point. i think, in any relationship, communication is important. In a D/s relationship, it seems like it’s really difficult for people to communicate. Out of all of the advice threads in the groups on fetlife, it seems like 7/10 of them can be answered simply by “talk to your S.O.” and these people know that but….

They get caught up in sub/Dom fever

i am willing to bet that a good part of the problem is new subs and Doms not understanding the vanilla part of a D/s relationship because they’re so obsessed with the BDSM part of it. Even in a D/s relationship, you must talk about problems. As an example, even if you’re a sub, you still have the right to say ‘i really need you to be willing to give oral sex.’ you are not less of a sub because you have needs. Every person has needs. That’s right, having needs makes you a person. Any relationship one goes into should meet their needs! Of course, needs are different from person to person. One of my needs is to be able to speak to my partner often. While this doesn’t mean every day all the time, i have a hard time not speaking to my partner for a few days in a row or more, and i found with an ex that after 2 weeks of being ignored, i no longer trusted him when he said he cared for me, and i was hurt pretty badly. i had not communicated that need with him, though. That’s where the communication comes in. A D/s relationship is still a relationship, and thus one has to communicate problems when they arise.

Bringing up problems doesn’t make one any less submissive

Being submissive doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a doormat. Some submissives like being a doormat, but there’s one minor problem with the doormat mentality, and that is that when one is a doormat, they don’t stand up for themselves. If this happens, you are not likely to have all of your needs met. When your needs aren’t met, things go wrong. People get angry and frustrated when their needs aren’t met… There’s a reason they’re needs, and not wants. The way i see it, as a submissive, it’s your job to take care of your Dom’s property: you. So, if you have a need, you should tell your Dom so that they can find a way for that need to be met. A good example is that Sambuddy is very busy lately. He hasn’t been able to talk to me much, but three days went by and i didn’t hear from Him. i knew it wasn’t His fault, but i hadn’t let Him really know about that need before, so i texted Him and asked Him to log on for a bit just to talk to me. i wasn’t and am not asking for 3 hours daily, just checking in to know what’s going on in our lives, so that we are a part of each other’s life. This could take as little as 10 minutes out of His day. i expressed my need, and He found a way to fulfill it. That’s how this works.

A submissive is important

Just because i am submissive does not mean that my Dom’s needs are above mine. In fact, our needs are equally important in any relationship i get myself into. i believe that D/s relationships work best long term when this is true. Of course, there are exceptions for short term relationships or play partners, but overall, i honestly don’t think that a monogamous relationship can last without both people’s needs being met. So, don’t feel bad to bring up a problem or fear because you feel like your problems or fears are not important. They are. Every one of those effects you, which effects the relationship, which effects your Dom.

Subjective Ideas

If you aren’t sure what your Dom or sub means, don’t ask others, as your Dom or sub !! Terms and ideas are subjective, and the Dom’s idea of what is punishable vs. what others think is punishable is going to be completely different. Realize that each D/s relationship is vastly different with different people, ideas, rules, and dynamic. This means that asking for general advice like how to get a blood stain out of sheets might work, since everyone has common ways of doing it, asking if your Dom should punish you for doing —- isn’t going to be so helpful.

Trust

Part of the problem could also be a trust problem. i can trust that if i go to Sambuddy with something i want to talk about, He isn’t going to mock me (not seriously, anyhow) and He’ll likely answer whatever questions i have very seriously. i know that i can go to Him for anything. With some couples, that trust may or may not have been established yet. That trust is vital in order to communicate, and the risk is worth the reward. If you feel like you’re having trust issues, you should sit down with your partner and talk about needing to trust that you can go to them for anything, and please don’t laugh if it’s something that might be a little ‘ridiculous.’

In the least harmful cases, little breaks in communication can create confusion. In the worse cases, it can cost the couple their relationship. Don’t let that happen to you.

Ok, it’s 1AM, i should not be awake, and i’m going to scamper off to bed. Sorry that most of this was written from a submissive’s point of view, i lack the point of view of a Dominant, but would be very happy if one would comment on how They feel about communication as well, and any other reasons why there might be a breakdown in communication or any ways in which anyone disagrees with me. Good night ! : )

-s.

New Theme


i know the new theme is a big difference from my old one, but i was looking at it and i realized it’s really not ‘me.’ i love the monochrome look sometimes, but for my blog, i want something more colorful. i was looking for a black background, white text, and splashes of color here and there. i didn’t really see that, but i stumbled on this one, which i like. At least it’s not as emo. We’ll see how it goes. Now i’m going to see if i can come up with some links to put on here, and we’ll see how that goes, too !!

-s.

Dirty Laundry


The way i was raised when i was young was that you never let anyone know any of your dirty laundry. It just isn’t done. Just like you don’t speak badly about family. Ever. Now, i didn’t grow up in the best home. my family had our problems, but this philosophy is still something that i agree with, even understanding where it came from. When i’m angry with someone, have a past with them and don’t want anything to do with them, i don’t throw up a huge sign that says terrible things about them, detailing everything that happened. i don’t usually bring up anything negative about other people, and if i do, i usually remind the person i’m speaking to that i don’t know what their motives were or what happened to make them react this way. For the most part, i am not a fan of airing out dirty laundry.

On fetlife recently, there is a couple who has been going through some troubles. Male Dominant, female submissive. she made a post about how she woke up one morning and made Him breakfast before He had to go to work. she said that He screamed at her that He didn’t want breakfast, or something to that effect. she asked if she did something wrong. No problem there, right? As far as i saw, no problem. He apologized and it was handled, untilll….

He posts about a month later. He left her, after knowing her for 2 months, alone in His home when He went away on business. He says that she whored herself out to get Him money or something similar while He was gone, and she got caught and arrested. He says He bailed her out and sent her to nanny, hoping that she would pay Him back the 5,000 dollars she allegedly owed Him.

Then, that very same day, she posts explaining that she’s the girl who cooked breakfast for her Master and He yelled at her…. And that she finally got up the courage to leave. Then people bring Him post into it and it turns into her raving saying ‘i never said i didn’t whore myself out!’ and the like. Oh god.

Today, He wrote a poem. His poem was obviously about her. It said that He offered her the best of everything, and she threw it in His face.

So, when i read all of this out on the web, all i get out of these two people is a staggering amount of immaturity. That’s right, i said staggering amount. Both wanted to smear the other, and as a result, they make themselves look dumb, to me anyhow. i believe there is something very ungraceful in posting that sort of problem on a public forum. It implies that one can’t really deal with the problem on their own, so they need to tell as many people as possible so as to hurt the other person’s reputation as much as possible. It’s silly, and i don’t buy it. Especially His ‘poor me’ act when He left someone He didn’t know in His home while He was gone.

What’s confusing me is that in fetlife, i’m seeing a lot of people airing their dirty laundry. It’s fine, because they come with questions like “He don’t like eating me out, how can i make Him like it?” and stuff like that. she wasn’t trying to hurt her Dominant, just trying to get advice and direction. But when something like the above happens with a man and a woman acting in such dramatic ways, people are seeming to eat it up. i guess it’s bugging me because i fought so hard not to call Him immature on the thread with His poem. i fought so hard not to call her immature in her post. Meanwhile, people on both sides are saying “honey, i’m so sorry this is happening to you, here’s a shoulder to cry on.” But i don’t think they see the attention-seeking drama-creating going on, maybe they just see a sad story.

Sorry for the rant. i’m just annoyed about this in particular right now because i thought it was particularly dumb, and i’ve noticed the people drawn in to it, and for some reason, it bugged me that they were being consoled when they seem to be begging for attention, good or bad. Kinda like a little kid that’s throwing things to get mommy’s attention, then mommy turns around and hugs the kid, apologizing for ignoring him and promising to be a better mommy. Now, every time that kid wants attention, he’s going to throw things around. i feel like it’s a similar idea, and we’re feeding the drama by commenting on it.

-s.

An assignment


During the week that i was in a contract with Sambuddy, He occasionally asked me to write Him erotic stories. Usually this was so He would have an idea of what my fantasy was about a certain subject or the like. i think i asked if He would mind if i posted them on my blog, but then i didn’t, since i don’t feel like my writing is that great. However, i’ll post my favorite one anyhow, and maybe another later.

—————————————————–

Early one Saturday morning, as agreed, I changed His computer’s password. He was not to know what this password was, but was instead supposed to get it from me later on that day. The day started like any other, I brought Him His coffee in bed and lay next to Him while He drank it. We spent the day running errands and taking care of things outside the apartment, and when we returned, He ordered me to take off my clothes. I slid off my jeans, t shirt, and socks, standing naked before Him.

His eyes drink me in; making me wonder what’s going through His mind. He then calmly asks me “what’s the password to My computer?”

“I don’t know.” I reply softly, bowing my head.

“Come with Me” He orders, walking toward the bed. There are ropes that are running under the bed, and He instructs me to lie down.

I lay on my back on the bed and He told me to turn over. I’m confused, but I turn onto my stomach and He ties me spread eagle style, but He is very rough with me, almost as if He’s angry. He can’t be angry, right? He then takes a cloth blindfold and holds it where I can see it.

“What’s the password to My computer?”

“I really don’t know.” He ties the blindfold around my eyes, effectively blocking out all light.

“If you persist in hiding the information, I’m going to have to take it from you, you know…” He growls. I wince, wondering if something is going to happen. I can imagine the sting of the flogger now, on my unsuspecting ass.

Instead I feel His hand, caressing my ass. This confuses me, after all, isn’t He angry? Then, suddenly, His hand slaps my ass hard. I squeak involuntarily, tensing my ass under His hand. “What’s the password to My computer?” His voice is deadly calm. Too calm. I shake my head, not wanting to answer verbally. Again His hand comes down on my ass, two times this time. The smacks ring in my ears afterward, my breathing coming faster now as I try to ignore the sting that He’s not bothering to rub away. “The password?”

Suddenly, a thought comes to my mind “meowmix1234” I say

I hear Him walk over to His computer and open it up. I hear the brief tap of His fingers on the keyboard, then I hear His deep sexy laugh “oh, so that’s how you want to play?” He had discovered that I had lied to Him.

I hear Him opening the plastic bin we keep the toys in. my mind races, wondering what it is He could be retrieving, then suddenly I feel a sharp pain on my ass. I cry out, struggling a bit against the restraints. He had taken out the cane, and I was not too happy about that. I ask myself what I thought He would do, and find that I really just didn’t think about the consequences, even though I knew there would be some. He smacks my ass 5 more times, with only brief pauses in between. I bite my tongue and try not to cry out too much, my hands balled up into fists. When He’s done, I feel His hand caress my ass, rubbing away the soreness.

“you know, if you just tell me what the password is, this could all be over…” He coos at me

“No.” I say softly

His hand moves away from my ass, leaving a warm sensation behind. I brace myself for the next blow, but it doesn’t come. As I’m waiting, I listen carefully for movement, and He’s walking across the room. He’s opening up His bedside drawer. There’s the sound of cloth and something hard. Plastic or metal, all I know is it’s hard because I can hear the scrape across the bottom of the drawer. I can hear Him running that thing against the cloth. I tense up. It’s probably a knife.

“you should consider telling me what the password is. It would be much better for you.”

I don’t even respond, trying to relax as much as I can. I hear Him stop moving. He’s probably staring at me. Why is He staring at me? Shuffling. He’s coming over here. Setting the cloth on the bedside table. Then I feel the cold edge of the knife just between my neck and shoulder very gently against my skin. I can hear His even breath as He drags the knife across my shoulder and then onto my back. I try to keep completely still, forcing myself to breathe in an even rhythm, even though my breaths want to come in scared gasps, making my body shudder under His knife. I tense my hands into fists, digging my nails into my palms to distract from the feel of the knife against my skin. Then the knife is lifted from my back, and I can’t feel any marks. Is it because the knife was so sharp or because none are there? Even though I know He’d never hurt me, I worry anyhow.

I hear Him walk across the room, replacing the fabric and the knife in His bedside table. “I can bring you more than just fear and pain you know….” I feel His hand on the small of my back, travelling over my ass and upper thighs. It runs between my thighs and He stops just next to my pussy “I can bring you enormous amounts of pleasure as well, if you give me the password.”

I fight the urge to give it to Him, knowing that I’ll never see what else He had planned if I give up so soon. I shake my head and He moves His hand closer to my pussy, rubbing my clit gently with just one finger in a circular motion “I’ll let you cum if you tell me…” He moves faster, forcing me to moan softly, my hips bucking against His hand. He doesn’t stop, either, just keeps silently bringing me pleasure until I’m about to cum, then His hand moves away from my pussy, leaving me wanting more. I hear His belt being unbuckled and His pants being pulled off, as well as His boxers. Next thing I know, His hand is running through my hair, grabbing just enough to twist in His hand, pulling my head to His cock and forcing it into my mouth. He face fucks me for a while whilst I use my tongue to pleasure Him. I know that’s not what a captive would do, normally, but I can’t help but want Him to feel pleasure when He wants to. After all, I still love Him. He tells me how much of a whore I am, and how I’m desperate for cum and that I’m a dirty little slut. Then He cums without warning, burying His cock to the hilt in my mouth and shooting His cum directly into my throat. I swallow quickly, trying not to let a drop of cum fall from my lips. I eagerly lick His cock after He has cum, until He removes His cock from my mouth and releases my hair.

“What’s the password to My computer?” He says this firmly, His hand again on the inside of my thigh, tracing intricate patterns.

“I don’t know.” I’m firm this time, pressing my pussy toward His hand. Daring Him to do His worst.

He slides one finger into me, pressing it against my g spot and rubbing firmly. He knows it’s hard for me to cum this way, it’s just so much pleasure and buildup that I’ll be desperate to cum. He places His other hand on my lower stomach from below, pressing my g spot toward Him. I can’t help but groan, my hips trying to pull away from His hands, my pussy now aching to cum.

“you should tell me what the password is and I’ll let you cum…” He croons to me

After another 10 minutes or so, I break, my body shaking with pleasure but unable to cum “chimera69” I groan

He leaves me for a moment, and I can hear Him tap out the password I had provided Him. Then I hear Him walk toward me “good girl.”

His finger returns to my g spot, but His other hand rubs my clit, instantly bringing me almost to orgasm. I hold back as long as I can, wanting to feel the pleasure for longer, but when He growls “cum, slut” I can’t help but cum hard, my body shaking badly as I cry out with pleasure. I can hear Him laugh softly and I desperately want to see His smile as I slowly start to come down from my orgasm ‘high.’

He carefully unties me, then slowly removes the blindfold, careful with the light. I lay down, whispering “thank You” to Him as He slides into bed next to me. He wraps His arms around me and kisses my forehead softly “I love you, baby girl”

“I love You, too” I reply, rubbing my face against His chest “… I’m tired.”

———————————————–

While it’s not great, it’s not the worst thing i’ve ever written. This is, obviously, my interrogation fantasy. Of course, it might not go that way in reality, but that’s part of the fun, right? : )

-s.

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