Dirty Laundry


The way i was raised when i was young was that you never let anyone know any of your dirty laundry. It just isn’t done. Just like you don’t speak badly about family. Ever. Now, i didn’t grow up in the best home. my family had our problems, but this philosophy is still something that i agree with, even understanding where it came from. When i’m angry with someone, have a past with them and don’t want anything to do with them, i don’t throw up a huge sign that says terrible things about them, detailing everything that happened. i don’t usually bring up anything negative about other people, and if i do, i usually remind the person i’m speaking to that i don’t know what their motives were or what happened to make them react this way. For the most part, i am not a fan of airing out dirty laundry.

On fetlife recently, there is a couple who has been going through some troubles. Male Dominant, female submissive. she made a post about how she woke up one morning and made Him breakfast before He had to go to work. she said that He screamed at her that He didn’t want breakfast, or something to that effect. she asked if she did something wrong. No problem there, right? As far as i saw, no problem. He apologized and it was handled, untilll….

He posts about a month later. He left her, after knowing her for 2 months, alone in His home when He went away on business. He says that she whored herself out to get Him money or something similar while He was gone, and she got caught and arrested. He says He bailed her out and sent her to nanny, hoping that she would pay Him back the 5,000 dollars she allegedly owed Him.

Then, that very same day, she posts explaining that she’s the girl who cooked breakfast for her Master and He yelled at her…. And that she finally got up the courage to leave. Then people bring Him post into it and it turns into her raving saying ‘i never said i didn’t whore myself out!’ and the like. Oh god.

Today, He wrote a poem. His poem was obviously about her. It said that He offered her the best of everything, and she threw it in His face.

So, when i read all of this out on the web, all i get out of these two people is a staggering amount of immaturity. That’s right, i said staggering amount. Both wanted to smear the other, and as a result, they make themselves look dumb, to me anyhow. i believe there is something very ungraceful in posting that sort of problem on a public forum. It implies that one can’t really deal with the problem on their own, so they need to tell as many people as possible so as to hurt the other person’s reputation as much as possible. It’s silly, and i don’t buy it. Especially His ‘poor me’ act when He left someone He didn’t know in His home while He was gone.

What’s confusing me is that in fetlife, i’m seeing a lot of people airing their dirty laundry. It’s fine, because they come with questions like “He don’t like eating me out, how can i make Him like it?” and stuff like that. she wasn’t trying to hurt her Dominant, just trying to get advice and direction. But when something like the above happens with a man and a woman acting in such dramatic ways, people are seeming to eat it up. i guess it’s bugging me because i fought so hard not to call Him immature on the thread with His poem. i fought so hard not to call her immature in her post. Meanwhile, people on both sides are saying “honey, i’m so sorry this is happening to you, here’s a shoulder to cry on.” But i don’t think they see the attention-seeking drama-creating going on, maybe they just see a sad story.

Sorry for the rant. i’m just annoyed about this in particular right now because i thought it was particularly dumb, and i’ve noticed the people drawn in to it, and for some reason, it bugged me that they were being consoled when they seem to be begging for attention, good or bad. Kinda like a little kid that’s throwing things to get mommy’s attention, then mommy turns around and hugs the kid, apologizing for ignoring him and promising to be a better mommy. Now, every time that kid wants attention, he’s going to throw things around. i feel like it’s a similar idea, and we’re feeding the drama by commenting on it.

-s.