Dom Guidance

i was speaking with a very nice Dom on Experience Project today, and He felt like submissives were the ones who were having their questions answered, while Doms were not. When i look online, i do find that there are some sites about how a Dom “should” be… But i do think every one of them is flawed, as every Dom is different. i sent Him this website that i wanna share on here, because i think it’s really a great resource for people interested in being a Dom, or even a curious sub such as myself who would like to know exactly what their partner is supposed to be doing.

i especially like ‘[HUMOR] Rules of the Dungeon’ and in fact read it aloud to my vanilla roommate, who nearly died laughing. The rest of the site is extremely helpful– and in case You can’t see it due to a block in Your country, but would like to, i have it on a word document that i can email You, just comment here and we’ll work it out : )


On the Subject of Gags

Over the past couple days, i’ve become more and more sure that one of the DOM’s i’ve been speaking to is the right one for me. Of course, i’m trying really hard to watch everything we say as from third person, but it’s so hard not to get sucked in when nearly everything He says is so… Perfect. And it’s not even like He’s trying to be perfect, because He has opened up with things that some people would consider an immediate ‘deal breaker,’ though i don’t. He just turns out to be exactly what i need out of a DOM and a life partner. Who would’a thought. Anyways, i’m going to try to keep posting… Probably not every day, because obviously i can’t do that, but every couple/few days. Just to say what i’ve been learning as of late : )

Today i decided to research gags. Apparently there are a few different reasons for them…  There’s for humiliation, which is achieved because the submissive’s speech is no longer able to be recognized. Also, it can be used to bite, when the pain is getting a little too much. This is an application i wouldn’t have considered if i hadn’t read the article. Apparently, they can also be used to teach oral sex… Or at least the ones that keep the mouth open. i’m reading through the article as i write, so i’m not sure exactly which those are yet. The only gags i know about are ball gags, to be honest. Finally, they are used to calm down the submissive. Kinda like a pacifier.

As far as types of gags (the part i’m most interested in !) there are four different types. There is, of course, the ball gag. This basically looks like a rubber ball with a string going through it, and its’ main purpose is to keep the submissive from speaking. This is what i typically see in BDSM pictures, if there’s a gag at all. Apparently, the one that holds the mouth open is called the ring gag, and instead of a ball there’s a ring. Interesting. Bit gags replace the ball with a bar and it has straps. It’s kinda like a bridle for a horse, so it’s used in pony play fairly often. The last is an inflatable gag, which is sometimes used with a ring gag to keep it in place. Basically, it looks like a pacifier strapped onto the submissive’s head with a pump coming out. Even the inflatable part reminds me of a pacifier. You can pump the inflatable part as much as You want to fill her mouth… i think that type would be my favorite : )



Since a gags are intended to be put in the mouth, these BDSM are made of safe materials, such as rubber, plastic, latex, wood and others.

Safety tips

While using a gag, as well as any other BDSM toy you ought to follow some safety measures.

  • While using a gag, as well as any other BDSM toy you ought to follow some safety measures.
  • Never leave alone your submissive while he or she is wearing a gag and be careful about your submissive’s facial expressions and physical reactions. As soon as you see that your submissive’s eyes got wider or his lips turned blue- remove the gag urgently.
  • Agree with your submissive on a non-verbal stop sign – for instance a gesture.
  • Whatever you do your submissive must be able to bend and to turn the head – otherwise saliva won’t flow from the moth.
  • A gag must not be used if your bottom suffers from a heart of pulmonary diseases, diabetes or epilepsy.

Sorry, i couldn’t find a good way to paraphrase that into my own words. However, i would like to say here that all the information up there i got off of the link at the bottom of the page. i don’t want any credit for that research, since it’s not really my work.

The way i feel about gags: i like to always be pretty. All. The. Time. So i think it would take some getting used to, drooling like that. i would of course be self-conscious, but i’m sure my worries could be whisked away fairly easily. For some reason i had an image of a hostage in my head, a black silk scarf tied tightly into her mouth. There was no mention of any sort of gag here, so that must not be very safe.

Here’s the site i got the stuff from. As i said, a lot of credit goes to them. The only thing here that was my work are my opinions : )


The Bond of a Collar

So Yesterday, i was talking to a very good friend and He brought up collaring ceremonies, and someone’s blog that he read, which made them sound very sweet : ) In fact, now i very badly want to be collared ! i’ve been looking through collars for the past 30 minutes, just for fun. i’m not one for flashy, so i immediately ignored anything like that. In fact, until today, i didn’t realize that collars symbolizing lifetime commitment were more like jewelry than they are collars. Until today, i had always envisioned a very modest leather collar for me. A leather dog collar. i think i’m behind ! Not to mention that there are different collars for play and for every day…

The ceremony seems to be rather beautiful. Every account i find is charming, and it is a lot like a vanilla wedding, i think, vows and all. Though i would love to be tied to my Master in both the vanilla and the D/s way. After all, something seems a little awkward about my mom sitting in a seat watching her naked daughter be collared. Yeah, i think i’ll just stop thinking about that now. : (

i’m going to post a few links here that i found that maybe will help You read up on it. It’s really a very beautiful ceremony : )

Play Collars  –

Jewelry-type collars  –

Collaring Ceremony  –

Further Information on the subject  –