How it Happened

It all started with a visit from a close male friend. We had discussed beforehand what we wanted to try, sexually, and on my list was pain and bondage. he bought some cotton rope, wooden clothespins, and started driving. Of course, he was driving from another state. i had all day to consider what my weekend was going to be like.

We didn’t get around to the bondage and pain play until the second day, after i had fastened the ropes securely to my bedposts (the only bondage i really knew of was spread eagle…). He tied me in using the knots he had been practicing all week. Already i was incredibly turned on, just being naked and vulnerable in front of him. he could have me any way he wanted, and that got me so hot. then he pulls out the wooden clothespins. i wasn’t sure what to expect as far as they went. Any of my previous lovers had to be talked into being rough (and even them being rough was too gentle for me) so i knew very little about pain play. He put pins on and around my nipples, slowly flicking or turning them to cause even more pain. the waves of pleasure and pain intermingled into one amazing feeling of almost floating. i felt so amazing, just laying there, him playing with my body, teasing me and hurting me as he pleased. of course, i begged for his cock. And when he finally started fucking me i was over the edge almost instantly. Since then i’ve known i am most certainly a submissive. It just felt ‘right’ to give up control to someone else. Especially to someone i trust.

Throughout my entire life, my mother had always told me women were superior in every way to men. We were made to guide them and keep them on track. Our job was to make sure that everything they did, they did right. Something i learned early on in my life: it is incredibly hard to be a Dom when you’re a sub. Until last week, i was a Dom. Every boyfriend i had, i ordered around. not the Dom in the sense of D/s, but i was the one who ruled every relationship that i was in. That’s why every relationship tired me out so much. I had to try so hard to be what I thought was what I had to be. Tied up on my bed, being the plaything of my friend, i realized that i don’t have to be a Dom. Being a sub is fine, and in fact, it just feels…. ‘right.’

In just a week, i’ve read a lot on D/s, and changed my life a lot. This experience really changed my life for the positive. i’m eating better, excersizing more, and generally changing my demeanor (almost overnight… i definitely wasn’t cut out for the life i was living) to someone a Dom would want as a sub. i consider this to be in service of the Dom i will be with one day. It’s rather nice to know what you want out of life.

Knowing what i want also means i have to start educating myself about it. That’s what this blog is about. i couldn’t find any subs who had blogs or had written their experiences anywhere but experience project, and a blog like this might help new people to the scene learn a little about what it’s about, and see it from a sub’s point of view. i hope this will perhaps be a useful tool for anyone hoping to learn like i am, and i’ll be using it as a tool as well, so please bear with me! 🙂

i do have a couple of questions for anyone who has been in the scene for a while, though….

1) i hear ‘scene’ a lot, that’s why i use that word, but is ‘scene’ the right word to describe the community? is there a better one i should use?

2) Is sub training really worth the time? Or should i wait until i have the right Master and allow Him to train me as He’d like?

Thank you for being patient with me!!