What a Girl Wants…. What a Girl Needs….

i haven’t been doing much that is productive for the past week. i’m honestly stressed out about paying for college (the state grant keeps not being posted on the school website, and i’m worried that they are going to make me call again and again until it’s too late to get the money) and haven’t been thinking about much. Last night, at 10PM, i went with my mom and my little sister to see Toy Story 3. Getting out was nice, and i feel a lot less stressed (though i have to call them again tomorrow because it’s getting a bit ridiculous), so i figured i’d write while i had something to say.

i was thinking about relationships recently, for some odd reason, and i remembered what a good friend once told me. He liked to compare true love to a candle flame. May not be huge, but steady light. i like to think of Dominance that way. i think i would have a hard time taking a Dominant seriously who is caught up in the mindset ‘I am Dominant, hear Me roar!!!’ This sounds bad to those who met me when i first learned about D/s, because i was the same way about being submissive. i still am, sometimes. At least i recognize it and tone it down now, though. i guess the type of Dominance i would like to see in my Dominant would be the type of Dominance that doesn’t have to be spoken. Whether or not He is tying me down or beating me up, i would like to feel like i am His. i guess for me that sounds like a stability that is slightly more defined in a D/s relationship than in a vanilla one.

Oh, and speaking of something that is a difference between a D/s relationship and a vanilla one: i read this thread on fetlife about someone whose husband is naturally Dominant, but she was asking whether or not to introduce him to fetlife or the lifestyle formally, even though he seemed to lean that way naturally. When i read it i was very confused. If one is getting what they need out of a relationship, why would they change things? i’m lucky because i feel like i need very little from my significant other. i’m very very low maintenance. i could never imagine having kink in the bedroom and thinking ‘gee, i wish he would identify himself as my Dominant…’ If i’m not fulfilled, i would absolutely understand talking to him about BDSM, but if i am getting what i need, then what’s the point?

i have also been thinking about how in a relationship, we have needs and wants. In certain D/s dynamics, it’s the job of the Dom to take care of the sub’s needs and not the Dom’s job to take care of the sub’s wants. i was thinking again about what i need in a relationship and if i considered it to be fair… And of course i do, but i wonder what it is other subs need from their Doms. i guess that’s just out of curiosity, though.

Tonight, i am cooking soup again, but this time adding chicken : ) i really liked it last time, and this time it’s going to be even better!!! i’m super excited. Off to the store now… Wish me luck!! : )